Wednesday, March 14, 2018


This post is a personal matter concerning my family and my Uncle`s sad passing back in June of 2017.

I  haven`t written a posting since probably eight months ago, since the passing of my wonderful Godfather and Uncle. He will always be missed for his quiet passive nature and his wonderful chuckle that was all his own. Always missed and never forgotten.

Today I am writing about the time of his long illness. I am from a family of two brothers and a sister, and many nieces and nephews, including my own son and daughter. Along with my mother, we all tried to get through this terrible time of his illness, doing what we could to help her, when we could. All of us work, expect for one of my brothers, whom is retired, therefore he was able to contribute more of his time to whatever and whenever my mother needed him,

But along the way during this terribly sad time of ups and downs in my uncles health, my brother chose to lash out at me and said I wasn`t pulling my weight. I`ll never understand why he chose to lash out at me, perhaps because I was the most vulnerable one with no one to defend me. Nonetheless, I did my best to help out my mother when I could, going to sit with my uncle at the rehabilition center more then once, and staying with him at my mothers home so she could go bowling during these times. Visiting him many time at the rehabilation center and when he was in and out of the hospital, either alone or with my son. I helped her in other ways by getting a basket ready for the cemetary for my grandparents also one day. My brother told me on more then one occasion that I wasn`t pulling my weight during this terrible time over the phone. The day I was picking up the basket for my mother on my way back from the hospital, my brother arrived also and proceeded to verbally attack me while I was at my mothers` home. This saddened me to no end. How could someone take such a tragic and terrible situation with my uncles health and turn it into some type of keeping track of who`s doing more then someone else, and who`s not doing enough. What gave him the right to be judge and jury of our input during this situation. Everyone should of stuck together as a family unit at a time like this. Instead he choose to tear the family apart. My mother chose not to defend me, but instead chose to ignore the situation, when she should of stepped up to the plate and confronted my brother on my behalf. I chose not to be involved in putting pictures together for the funeraI I felt unwelcome, so I mourned his lose in my own way.

At the funeral services, I was treated as a pariah, an outcast, by any one with knowledge of this situation with my brother and after the services at my mothers house I was treated even worst. Like I didn`t even exist, they all sat outside and I stayed inside with my Aunt and Uncle and other visitors. I am strong in nature, but also soft hearted and compassionate in nature, I have put this behind me, but I can never forgive my brother for what he did to me and how he goes on without any remorse.

When we could of been stronger as a family, he chose to push me out, like a pariah. And when my mother should of done her job as a parent and set things straight, she chose not too.

I will always be saddened by this, I miss my Uncle more then any of them know, I spent a great deal of time around him while growing up. He is missed...

No one has kept in contact with me since this all happened, I chose to separate myself from the family for my own good. No one should be treated the way I was treated. My mother and sister stay close to each other and they don`t contact me, which I have learned to accept. That is there choice to make, I have contacted them, saw them over the holidays and even called my sister a few times. The phone works both ways, so I accept that they don`t want to stay in touch with me. I am not looking for a fan club, I stand by my decisions, I didn`t do anything wrong, I did the best I could, I mourned his lose in my own way, and I have a clear conscious on everything concerning this matter.

I am probably better off without being in such a toxic situation, I never would want to join the brown nose club. Its ashamed, parents are not supposed to play favorites with their children, but they do without realizing it or not. I`m not looking to be a favorite anyone, I am just me. Just looking to be accepted for who I am, smart intelligent, honorable, honest, soft hearted, compassionate and a strong believer in right and wrong, (got that from my grandmother).

Finally this message goes out to my family.